well best way for u to understand my situation is if i start from tha beginnin, im lettin u kno now this is gonna b a long ass post, so try 2 b patient wit me cuz this is important. ok it all happened...a thursday..i had a soccer game. u c we were suppose 2 beat this team cuz tha last time we played them they only got 2points and we had none. just to giv u a heads up thats a gud thing in soccer. but no we were gettin our ass-kicked! we kept bunchin up together, no one rly ran 4 tha ball, and we just seemed 2 not b playin rite (i culdnt move that much 4 tha position i had on tha field) then tha first half ended and our goalie also shes our coach just went off on us!!! she was screamin this 2 tha coach (first she threw off her gloves) "I CANT PLAY WIT THIS TEAM!!! I JUST CANT!!! IDK WAT THA HELL THERE DOIN OUT THERE BUT THERE NOT THA TEAM I PLAYED WIT THA LAST TIME WE FACED THEM!!! I DONT EVEN WANT 2 GO TO CHAMPIONSHIP WIT THEM!!! WERE NOT EVEN A TEAM!!!!" for one i kno im a tomboy but i can b emotional at times, when i get mad i start 2 cry. yes i did cry my eyes out, i wanted 2 say a few words 2 my caaptain but i kno i culdnt. my friend anna came ova and told me 2 stay calm and it'll b ok. u cant play all pissed of ok, all i did was nod. it rly hurt me 2 hear her say that i kno that5 i sucked cuz i missed lik seven balls comin 2 me!!! i had the ball and in just 2seconds it was taken 4rm me. (fast fwd) so tha game ended we lost, i grabbed my crap and started walkin 2 tha bus then i burst out cryin all ova again. my friend viv came ova and told me this " its ok aleria we'll get to play them again and we might---" once she said that lil sentenced i went off "FUCK IT VIVI!!! WAT DO U MEAN GO AGAINST THEM AGAIN!!!" then i sat on tha ground cryin......my teammates just passed me by not havin tha care 2 comfort me....except 4 anna....she sat next to cryin also then she say "let all out ok cuz u cant start a fight on tha bus" and turst me i let it all out!!!! i said everythin i culdnt say 2 my goalie outside. then lata on while sittin on tha bus my captain wanted 2 sing 2 me cuz she didnt kno y i was cryin...only anna knew...no one else. alrite one story down one 2 go. sry if i mite b borin u wit my terrible life at tha moment but if u think that was a bunch a bull listen to this. this happened yesterday, OH WAIT!!!! ON FRIDAY I WORE MY HARRY POTTER CLOAK 2 REPRESENT THA MOVIE COMIN OUT THAT DAY AND NO I DIDNT C IT, I DIDNT HAV ANY MONEY!!! :P ok so any who yesterday my mom was pissed off at me 4 not wakin up early enough 2 get my hair done ( i woke up at 1:20pmsumtin close to 1:30pm) my hair appoint was at 2pm. she was screamin at me on tha phone tha whole time!!! u think that was bad let me get 2 tha gud part. so im done gettin my hair done go home, half way start cleanin my room then stop cuz tha tinker bell movie was on, then this happened best way 2 sum this up. my mom is tired of me she cant tak me anymore, if i cant do wat im told (chores wise) and anythin else at home im gettin kicked out!!! seriously!!! one more wrong doin and im out!!! not on tha streets but 2 my grandmas house 4 tha rest of tha skool year......but who knos how long i mite stay. all my mom did was scream and holler talkin bout she doesnt kno wat 2 do wit me and blah blah! then my grandma called and best way 2 sum this up SHES DISAPPOINTED IN ME, DEEPLY!!!! so yeah....im hated by everyone now....an idk wat 2 do.....my mom is tryin her best 2 act as though nu10 happened.....but my family doesnt 4get stuff lik this....so i kept tellin myself imgoin 2 hell yesterday......i kept thinkin i shuldnt exist.....i shuld just die....i felt alone.......sakura-chan told me 2 pray on it........but i doubt that will help......all i can do is pretend 2 b happy again....so othas wont wry so damn much.........life sucks
well best way for u to understand my situation is if i start from tha beginnin, im lettin u kno now this is gonna b a long ass post, so try 2 b patient wit me cuz this is important. ok it all happened...a thursday..i had a soccer game. u c we were suppose 2 beat this team cuz tha last time we played them they only got 2points and we had none. just to giv u a heads up thats a gud thing in soccer. but no we were gettin our ass-kicked! we kept bunchin up together, no one rly ran 4 tha ball, and we just seemed 2 not b playin rite (i culdnt move that much 4 tha position i had on tha field) then tha first half ended and our goalie also shes our coach just went off on us!!! she was screamin this 2 tha coach (first she threw off her gloves) "I CANT PLAY WIT THIS TEAM!!! I JUST CANT!!! IDK WAT THA HELL THERE DOIN OUT THERE BUT THERE NOT THA TEAM I PLAYED WIT THA LAST TIME WE FACED THEM!!! I DONT EVEN WANT 2 GO TO CHAMPIONSHIP WIT THEM!!! WERE NOT EVEN A TEAM!!!!" for one i kno im a tomboy but i can b emotional at times, when i get mad i start 2 cry. yes i did cry my eyes out, i wanted 2 say a few words 2 my caaptain but i kno i culdnt. my friend anna came ova and told me 2 stay calm and it'll b ok. u cant play all pissed of ok, all i did was nod. it rly hurt me 2 hear her say that i kno that5 i sucked cuz i missed lik seven balls comin 2 me!!! i had the ball and in just 2seconds it was taken 4rm me. (fast fwd) so tha game ended we lost, i grabbed my crap and started walkin 2 tha bus then i burst out cryin all ova again. my friend viv came ova and told me this " its ok aleria we'll get to play them again and we might---" once she said that lil sentenced i went off "FUCK IT VIVI!!! WAT DO U MEAN GO AGAINST THEM AGAIN!!!" then i sat on tha ground cryin......my teammates just passed me by not havin tha care 2 comfort me....except 4 anna....she sat next to cryin also then she say "let all out ok cuz u cant start a fight on tha bus" and turst me i let it all out!!!! i said everythin i culdnt say 2 my goalie outside. then lata on while sittin on tha bus my captain wanted 2 sing 2 me cuz she didnt kno y i was cryin...only anna knew...no one else. alrite one story down one 2 go. sry if i mite b borin u wit my terrible life at tha moment but if u think that was a bunch a bull listen to this. this happened yesterday, OH WAIT!!!! ON FRIDAY I WORE MY HARRY POTTER CLOAK 2 REPRESENT THA MOVIE COMIN OUT THAT DAY AND NO I DIDNT C IT, I DIDNT HAV ANY MONEY!!! :P ok so any who yesterday my mom was pissed off at me 4 not wakin up early enough 2 get my hair done ( i woke up at 1:20pmsumtin close to 1:30pm) my hair appoint was at 2pm. she was screamin at me on tha phone tha whole time!!! u think that was bad let me get 2 tha gud part. so im done gettin my hair done go home, half way start cleanin my room then stop cuz tha tinker bell movie was on, then this happened best way 2 sum this up. my mom is tired of me she cant tak me anymore, if i cant do wat im told (chores wise) and anythin else at home im gettin kicked out!!! seriously!!! one more wrong doin and im out!!! not on tha streets but 2 my grandmas house 4 tha rest of tha skool year......but who knos how long i mite stay. all my mom did was scream and holler talkin bout she doesnt kno wat 2 do wit me and blah blah! then my grandma called and best way 2 sum this up SHES DISAPPOINTED IN ME, DEEPLY!!!! so yeah....im hated by everyone now....an idk wat 2 do.....my mom is tryin her best 2 act as though nu10 happened.....but my family doesnt 4get stuff lik this....so i kept tellin myself imgoin 2 hell yesterday......i kept thinkin i shuldnt exist.....i shuld just die....i felt alone.......sakura-chan told me 2 pray on it........but i doubt that will help......all i can do is pretend 2 b happy again....so othas wont wry so damn much.........life sucks
Hey, you should't be stressing over this!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just a bad week for you, like how mine was...a week ago? And the time before that...so yeah, we all had our share of bad days.
Just go with the flow and think nothing of it, which I have failed terribly at doing, haha
=-=''''
Why don't you take some time ever day and just on your favourite tracks from any artist, sit on your bed and focus on deep breathing. Do that for a few mins and it should help calm your nerves, even if its a Heavy Metal track that your listening to ( Just kidding!)
I hope my advice would help you, even if a bit because it helped me when someone told me to do it.
One more thing, Tomboys are just humans and they shouldn't be afraid to cry their eyes out. Men do it all the time so why can't we?
Your Friend,
Seiichiro Sano
ps: Watch Dogs: Bullets and Carnage OVA, all four episodes of it and Laugh your heart out at Bandou's nicotine addiction in episode 2 ( I know I did) and if you like catchphrases, you'll love Heine's " Fuck up, Gentleman" at the end of episode 4! ( still hearing it and snickering)
Sorry I couldn't send anything! It seems that whenever I'm on blogger, the Internet would go down or my mom would want to go on Facebook ( she's a pain...really)
I know I'm replying to this late kinda belatedly, but I hope my advice is still helpful...
ReplyDeleteIts alright. We all have our bad days...
Seriously, a couple weeks ago, I got home and just cried the entire night 3pm - 11pm. I'm not sure why. I just had a bad day and then got yelled at by my mom and then had to clean the house and I was just a wreck. But then the next day, I looked back and realized how emotional I was being and laughed at myself for it. It happens, you know?
Usually, I find my heaviest, loudest music and blare it through my headphones and it helps me calm down.
I hope this helps a little bit :)
thnx u guys :)
ReplyDelete